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Join the Crew

30–50 brave souls needed. Cowards need not apply.

💰 $60,000 – $100,000 / year (only if we find the treasure, obviously)

S.S Captain America

▼ scroll to apply ▼

Full Job Requirements

🗺️ Sail around the world looking for treasure — how far can you go?

1 week max 🏖️ 1 month, no problem 🌊 3 months, born for this ⚓ Until we find treasure or die 💀

🍺 Get drunk on beer and rum — professional level. What's your capacity?

1 mug, I'm responsible 😇 3 mugs, I'm a professional 🍺 Until I see two moons 🌕🌕 I stopped counting years ago ☠️

⚠️ Answering "1 mug" won't get you rejected. Answering "What is rum?" will.

🎵 Sing sea shanties on command — how's your talent?

Full performance, 3 languages 🎤 Only when drunk 🍻 I sing, but seagulls leave 😬 I lip-sync and hope nobody notices 🤐

⚔️ Fight sea monsters with bare hands — your strategy?

Charge head first, no plan 💪 Grab nearest sharp object 🗡️ Distract it and run 🏃 Negotiate. I speak kraken. 🐙

🦜 Be comfortable around parrots. Very comfortable. How comfortable?

I already have 3 🦜🦜🦜 Fine as long as it doesn't talk 🙂 Mildly terrified but will manage 😅 Birds are my #1 enemy 😤

💀 Not afraid of death — minor plus if already dead. Current status?

Death fears ME 😎 I've made peace with it 🕊️ Working on it, send help 😬 Already dead. Minor plus? ☠️

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The Captain reviews every application personally. Mostly.

Your Name (pirate name preferred)

Can you swim?⚠️

Yes, like a fish 🐟 Kinda… barely No, but the ship won't sink right? 🚢 I sink instantly. Every time. 🪨

Weapon of Choice

⚔️ Sword (classic) 🔫 Pistol (one shot, no miss) ⚔️🔫 Both (overachiever) 🍴 Fork (we need to talk)

Rum Capacity Per Night

1 mug 😇 3 mugs 🍺 Until I see two moons 🌕🌕 What is rum? ❌

Previous Pirate Experience

🏴‍☠️

The Captain has received your application and thrown it into the sea for good luck.

We'll send a parrot with your joining letter. Eventually.